Differences
This shows you the differences between the selected revision and the current version of the page.
| doguupedia 2009-03-03 00:23 | doguupedia 2009-09-09 10:04 current | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| Line 8: | Line 8: | ||
| === The other thing === | === The other thing === | ||
| - | {{:snowgoggles.jpg?200 |I didn't need to put these up but I think they look pretty cool, sort of cyberpunk but with more whalebone (this may already be a genre)}} | + | {{ :snowgoggles.jpg?200|I didn't need to put these up but I think they look pretty cool, sort of cyberpunk but with more whalebone (this may already be a genre)}} |
| - | In the late nineteen-sixties, Erich von Daniken busted out onto the scene brandishing an armful of bad science, a razor-sharp selective disregard for the evidence, and the hotly contested idea that anything at all done by people more than two thousand years ago (or about five hundred for various Central American civilizations, it seems) that seems in any way odd to modern perceptions of cultural normality, or ascribes to the peoples in question more than paleolithic construction abilities, was unquestionably the work of aliens. This sparked a sensational crossfire of copycats and hangers-on furiously scrabbling to connect ancient cultures to extraterrestrial interference. Naturally, ancient Japan was a sitting duck. | + | In the late nineteen-sixties, Erich von Daniken busted out onto the scene brandishing an armful of bad science, a razor-sharp selective disregard for the evidence, and the hotly contested idea that anything at all done by people more than two thousand years ago (or about five hundred for people who aren't white) that seems in any way odd to modern perceptions of cultural normality, or ascribes to the peoples in question more than paleolithic construction abilities, was unquestionably the work of aliens. |
| - | === Both of those things, actually hey "Synthesis" would be a great name for this section === | + | This sparked a sensational crossfire of copycats and hangers-on furiously scrabbling to connect ancient cultures to extraterrestrial interference. Naturally, prehistoric Japan was a sitting duck. |
| + | |||
| + | === Both of those things, actually hey "Synthesis" would be a great name for this section, I'll edit that in l === | ||
| {{ :doguu_code.jpg?200|DO NOT CLICK THIS IT WILL BREAK YOUR MIND LIKE IN SNOW CRASH I SWEAR.}} | {{ :doguu_code.jpg?200|DO NOT CLICK THIS IT WILL BREAK YOUR MIND LIKE IN SNOW CRASH I SWEAR.}} | ||
| And so somehow it was decided that the stiff, bug-eyed //shakoukidoguu// figure was, quite unquestionably, a representation of one or indeed several ancient alien astronauts who visited the Jomon-era Japanese and no doubt built any permanent structures they had and impregnated their women with freakish off-world seed and all those great things bug-eyed aliens do. Or maybe the Jomon people had interstellar flight capabilities themselves, and felt the need to leave us with no evidence but some pictures of them in their ugly, uncomfortable space-suits. Or maybe, according to one particular Branch Of Science, they were privy to the [[http://ancientgravitics.tripod.com/|deepest secrets of physical science ever revealed to man]], and encoded them in some chubby little clay statues for the ages. | And so somehow it was decided that the stiff, bug-eyed //shakoukidoguu// figure was, quite unquestionably, a representation of one or indeed several ancient alien astronauts who visited the Jomon-era Japanese and no doubt built any permanent structures they had and impregnated their women with freakish off-world seed and all those great things bug-eyed aliens do. Or maybe the Jomon people had interstellar flight capabilities themselves, and felt the need to leave us with no evidence but some pictures of them in their ugly, uncomfortable space-suits. Or maybe, according to one particular Branch Of Science, they were privy to the [[http://ancientgravitics.tripod.com/|deepest secrets of physical science ever revealed to man]], and encoded them in some chubby little clay statues for the ages. | ||
| Line 27: | Line 29: | ||
| Appearing as the Hoodoo Doll, this //doguu// is a mid-boss of Stage 6-2, at least according to the substantially more reliable source, "the rest of the internet". It says you should use the Shooting Star on it, whatever that means. I kind of wish I'd played this game, but mostly because I can't find a picture of this guy in his natural habitat anywhere online. | Appearing as the Hoodoo Doll, this //doguu// is a mid-boss of Stage 6-2, at least according to the substantially more reliable source, "the rest of the internet". It says you should use the Shooting Star on it, whatever that means. I kind of wish I'd played this game, but mostly because I can't find a picture of this guy in his natural habitat anywhere online. | ||
| - | === Chelnov (Arcade) === | + | === Chelnov (Arcade/Sega Mega Drive) === |
| {{:chelnov_md_doguu.png |He jumps around and tries to crush you, and occasionally tosses out TINY DOGUUS. It's adorable I swear}} | {{:chelnov_md_doguu.png |He jumps around and tries to crush you, and occasionally tosses out TINY DOGUUS. It's adorable I swear}} | ||
| To be honest that screenshot there is from the later Megadrive port, which was exactly the same but with much better graphics. Seriously, this game was ugly as sin in the arcade and I don't know how it got popular enough to warrant a home port. The whole game actually has an "ancient astronauts created the wonders of ancient civilization (and now they've come back (and so you have to put on an atomic suit and shoot them all))" theme, so this guy's presence fits in pretty neatly. | To be honest that screenshot there is from the later Megadrive port, which was exactly the same but with much better graphics. Seriously, this game was ugly as sin in the arcade and I don't know how it got popular enough to warrant a home port. The whole game actually has an "ancient astronauts created the wonders of ancient civilization (and now they've come back (and so you have to put on an atomic suit and shoot them all))" theme, so this guy's presence fits in pretty neatly. | ||
| Line 34: | Line 36: | ||
| === Dynamite Headdy (Sega Mega Drive) === | === Dynamite Headdy (Sega Mega Drive) === | ||
| - | {{ :dynamite_headdy_doguu_haniwa.png?320|This one OPENS HIS EYES sometimes when you fight him. This is DOGUU SACRILEGE and also LOOKS KIND OF FREAKY.}} | + | {{:dynamite_headdy_doguu_haniwa.png?320 |This one OPENS HIS EYES sometimes when you fight him. This is DOGUU SACRILEGE and also LOOKS KIND OF FREAKY.}} |
| This is a VERY SPECIAL DOGUU, because if, as a student of ancient Japanese statuary, you look at the cage he's standing on there, you'll see that he's also imprisoned a pair of [[Haniwa]] statues! After the fashion of the game, you need to headbutt that cage to the right until it falls in a hole, at which point the doguu up there will fight you. I know he spins those little claw hands of his around and sucks you in with WEIRD ALIEN GRAVITY, but I'm sure there's more to him than that. Anyway, beat him (with more headbutting) and the haniwa statues burst out of their cage and dash for freedom, at which point it is of critical importance that you headbutt them until they explode, as the game will award you a [[Secret Bonus Point]]. | This is a VERY SPECIAL DOGUU, because if, as a student of ancient Japanese statuary, you look at the cage he's standing on there, you'll see that he's also imprisoned a pair of [[Haniwa]] statues! After the fashion of the game, you need to headbutt that cage to the right until it falls in a hole, at which point the doguu up there will fight you. I know he spins those little claw hands of his around and sucks you in with WEIRD ALIEN GRAVITY, but I'm sure there's more to him than that. Anyway, beat him (with more headbutting) and the haniwa statues burst out of their cage and dash for freedom, at which point it is of critical importance that you headbutt them until they explode, as the game will award you a [[Secret Bonus Point]]. | ||
| === Darkstalkers (Arcade) === | === Darkstalkers (Arcade) === | ||
| - | {{ :darkstalkers_huitzil_sprite.gif|My mother is a psychiatrist. She looked at this and diagnosed this guy with ADHD, just like that.}} | + | {{:darkstalkers_huitzil_sprite.gif |My mother is a psychiatrist. She looked at this and diagnosed this guy with ADHD, just like that.}} |
| "What are you talking about?!" my detractors screeched, "That's nothing more than an ancient Aztec stone robot left four thousand years ago to guard Earth against terrors of supernatural and interstellar origin! Or possibly to subjugate Earth at the command of those same terrors, we can't remember and don't want to look it up." | "What are you talking about?!" my detractors screeched, "That's nothing more than an ancient Aztec stone robot left four thousand years ago to guard Earth against terrors of supernatural and interstellar origin! Or possibly to subjugate Earth at the command of those same terrors, we can't remember and don't want to look it up." | ||
| Line 47: | Line 49: | ||
| === Doguu Senki ~Haoh~ (Dreamcast) === | === Doguu Senki ~Haoh~ (Dreamcast) === | ||
| {{:dogu_senki_dc_front_cover.jpg |Doguus. There must be HUNDREDS of them in there. And I'll never know!}} | {{:dogu_senki_dc_front_cover.jpg |Doguus. There must be HUNDREDS of them in there. And I'll never know!}} | ||
| - | Okay well this is plainly the mother lode. It's a game about doguus. A whole entire game. Now, I know absolutely nothing about it, as it was never released in English, and there are no English fan sites in existence for it, which tells me it was probably irredeemably terrible. But as a certified Doguu Maniac, I find this game to have a quite uncontrollable allure. I may never play it, which is probably for the best, but to know that it exists makes my life a bug-headed joyride, I tell you what. | + | Okay well this is plainly the mother lode. It's a game about doguus. A whole entire game. Now, I know absolutely nothing about it, as it was never released in English, and there are no English-language fan sites in existence for it, which tells me it was probably irredeemably terrible. |
| + | |||
| + | As a certified Doguu Maniac, however, I find this game to have a quite uncontrollable allure. I may never play it, which is probably for the best, but to know that it exists makes my life a bug-headed joyride, I tell you what. | ||
| + | |||
| + | === Shin Megami Tensei / Persona series (Famicom/SFC/PlayStation/PS2) === | ||
| + | {{:arahabaki.jpg?100 |His in-game sprite in the older games kind of hovers a little above the floor, just like that. An Ominous Doguu.}} | ||
| + | My less burnt-out compadres who are still capable of picking up a fifty-plus-hour RPG tell me Persona 3 is just the latest in the series to feature doguus, this time by the name "Arahabaki". I assume all he does is hover around waiting for a dungeon-crawling party to come bonk him on the head and maybe get recruited or smushed together with some of his Demon Chumz from time to time. However, he is also a representation of a [[the_secret_of_akihabara_moe_otaku|much older current]] which has evidently been informing game designers for CENTURIES((Two of them. OKAY PARTS OF TWO OF THEM.)) now, and may be the key to new and hitherto unseen depths of the Doguu Mystery. Keep watching the skies, true believers. (doguus will only approach if they think you are not looking at them) | ||
